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Paging Danhercules

  1. #1
    It's a sickness Eliminator#1's Avatar
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    Default Paging Danhercules

    Here is what you have to look forward to lol

    LIFE'S GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!
    QE 072


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  3. #2
    Senior Member GRoper's Avatar
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    Funny cuz its true.

  4. #3
    1CALIFORNIA PERFORMANCE9 blender over's Avatar
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    Thats too funny!

  5. #4
    It's a sickness Eliminator#1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GRoper View Post
    Funny cuz its true.
    saw it first thing, thats what i thought
    LIFE'S GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!
    QE 072


  6. #5
    Senior Member moneysucker's Avatar
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    It is totally true! I thought, "My daughter has that ariel bathing suit." lol
    Vinyl Graphics, Magnetic signs, Reg #s, Boat names, Banners, Boat decals, Etc. Please contact me Via facebook or e-mail cycodesigns@hotmail.com.

  7. #6
    Razor Wire Militia 髯岙喢殮作's Avatar
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    this one is for Amy Dan

  8. #7
    Boss of the McIntyre Mob danhercules's Avatar
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    I am too busy changing diapers and cleaning chit up. Don't have time for this.


    I saw that a while ago. Funny stuff.

    See ya out at McIntyre weekend of oct 1?


    Very first TPR 21' Deck. 528 BBF 736hp on pump gas built by High Flow Dynamics

    McIntyre Mob. Where the rejects play!

  9. #8
    Resident Ford Nut Sleeper CP's Avatar
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    Dan....print and put in your "Daddy folder" for future use:


    10 Rules For Dating My Daughter

    Rule One:
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

    Rule Two:
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

    Rule Three:
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact,
    come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

    Rule Four:
    I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilising a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

    Rule Five:
    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

    Rule Six:
    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Rule Seven:
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

    Rule Eight:
    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:
    Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:
    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.




    Hope you can use it someday........I will and not to far off.

    Jon


    S CP

    "Dark Sarcasm"
    Going fast is only half the fun ... what you make go
    fast is the other half.
    " A Government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have"

  10. #9
    Boss of the McIntyre Mob danhercules's Avatar
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    Jon,

    Wow, I have not even thought that far ahead. I am still in shock that my child will be playing with dolls on the beach and not dump trucks. I could have swore I was having a boy. Had lots of dreams and gut feeling. I guess my gut feeling went away with my gut.

    Thanks Jon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Very first TPR 21' Deck. 528 BBF 736hp on pump gas built by High Flow Dynamics

    McIntyre Mob. Where the rejects play!

  11. #10
    Senior Member moneysucker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danhercules View Post
    Jon,

    Wow, I have not even thought that far ahead. I am still in shock that my child will be playing with dolls on the beach and not dump trucks. I could have swore I was having a boy. Had lots of dreams and gut feeling. I guess my gut feeling went away with my gut.

    Thanks Jon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Barbie has a dump truck.
    Vinyl Graphics, Magnetic signs, Reg #s, Boat names, Banners, Boat decals, Etc. Please contact me Via facebook or e-mail cycodesigns@hotmail.com.

  12. #11
    Resident Ford Nut Sleeper CP's Avatar
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    Dan,

    I've printed out a few copies of those rules. They grow up fast I can tell you that. My little one went to her first Friday Night Varsity Football game last night.
    Wow time flies.

    S CP

    "Dark Sarcasm"
    Going fast is only half the fun ... what you make go
    fast is the other half.
    " A Government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have"

  13. #12
    Senior Member Chuck Wagon's Avatar
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    Dan, Get the divorce barbie, she come with all Ken's Sh*T.

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