And then the fight started.....
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And then the fight started.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member KineticoH20's Avatar
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    Default And then the fight started.....

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
    expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station..... And then the fight
    started....



    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
    in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?
    "No," she
    answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't
    even look
    at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd
    like to phone
    a friend." And then the fight started....



    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
    Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
    to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
    wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
    to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
    silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
    Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife
    about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should
    have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too' And then
    the fight started.....



    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
    the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
    the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The
    wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
    radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back
    into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled
    up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
    'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 30 years
    replied,
    'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And
    that's
    how the fight started ...



    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
    kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
    nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I
    sighed, 'she's
    my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
    split up those many & years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
    since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could
    go on
    celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....



    I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
    and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
    you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
    well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
    car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY! !!' So, I looked
    down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the
    fight
    started.....



    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
    order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He
    said,
    'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
    herself.' And then the fight started.....



    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
    happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
    look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The
    husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.' And then the
    fight
    started.....
    You must prepare for the darkness while traveling in the sunlight!

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  3. #2
    Don't judge me monkey... DogMan's Avatar
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    Default

    That's some funny ass stuff right there...
    WARNING: Does Not Play Well With Liberals

  4. #3
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    Too funny!!

  5. #4
    Senior Member fat rat's Avatar
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    Default

    That is some funny chit!
    In thrust..............we trust. Team FTL



    If you don't stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them.

  6. #5
    Senior Member ellabo's Avatar
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    Default

    good stuff

  7. #6
    Administrator Infomaniac's Avatar
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    Default

    Wife asked me if the jeans she is wearing made her butt look big.

    I said no you're big butt makes you're butt look big.

    Then .... well you know

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