one of the hardest things i have ever had to do
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one of the hardest things i have ever had to do

  1. #1
    Senior Member tx19condor's Avatar
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    Default one of the hardest things i have ever had to do

    Today I had to tell one of my best friends that his wife was cheating on him with another friend of ours. I have known for a little over a week and couldnt stand the guilt and he could tell something was up and asked me what was going on and I had to lie to him. Right after that I called the other guy and said you tell him or I will. That was saturday and he still hadnt told him so I called my buddy today and told him most of what I know. I would have told him sooner but the other guy said he was going to confess to him, as he had already confessed to his wife. But I could telll he was too much of a p**sy to do it and felt like it had become my burden to bear, and what happens a month from now when the other guys wife tells him and he finds out I had hid it from him for that long? What kind of friend would he see me as then, at a time when he really needs friends? Even still I feel worse now after telling him than I did before. what do you guys think should I have kept my mouth shut or did I do the right thing?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Buoy's Avatar
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    If my wife was stepping out, I'd damn sure want my buddy to tell me.
    Did you explain to him that you've known for a little while, and have been struggling with what to do with this info?
    You may want to make sure he knows the burden you were carrying by simply having this info.
    Might help him understand why you handled things the way you did.
    Not that I think you handled it incorrectly at all.

  4. #3
    Senior Member tx19condor's Avatar
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    I explained that to him and I think he understands. If he dosent understand right now im sure as he cools down he will. I ll tell you what though, even though I described him as "another friend of ours " in my first post, i never liked the other guy anyway, hes an obnoxious prick. I just thought that after I told him I would feel like the burden was off of me but I feel worse. I feel sick to my stomach over it

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  6. #4
    Senior Member Buoy's Avatar
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    You did the right thing.
    He'll have a lot to deal with, and it may (unfortunately) be the end of a friendship - just because he may always associate the dissolve of his marriage with you telling him.
    But, I doubt it.
    He probably saw a lot of warning signs that he ignored, and is now feeling like a fool. Give him some time to digest all this.

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    Senior Member Minnesota_Duane's Avatar
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    I say you did the right thing and did it the right way. You maybe could have done it sooner but thats just a judgment call. Anyway you look at it it's a bitch. Probably should remind him not to go after the other guy though as it takes two to tangle and shes as much to blame as anyone else if not more so.
    I been in his shoes, and now five years later it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I had three years of being a man whore and then I found a good one. It all works out in the end.
    10,000 lakes so little gas money!

  8. #6
    Senior Member Minnesota_Duane's Avatar
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    And another thing! Married, no boats,,,, Divorced, two jet boats!
    10,000 lakes so little gas money!

  9. #7
    Senior Member Buoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minnesota_Duane View Post
    it takes two to tangle
    And 4 to do the bird

  10. #8
    Senior Member Buoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minnesota_Duane View Post
    I been in his shoes, and now five years later it was the best thing to ever happen to me.
    +1 me too.
    Just a happy married guy now.
    Love my wife, and our little life together.

    You did the guy a favor, and he may never realize, or acknowledge it. He may even resent it.
    You did the right thing.

  11. #9
    Breathing Diesel Shotgun19's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minnesota_Duane View Post
    And another thing! Married, no boats,,,, Divorced, two jet boats!
    Thats what I am talking about

    tx19condor you did the right thing.

  12. #10
    Toesnsandnabiernhand BO Duke's Avatar
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    Cool Hey TX19

    You Did the right thing. Friends or so called Friends should never PUT a Friend in the CROSSFIRE. Shit happens for REASON, DON't NO WHY!!!!!!
    Team No BS Crew

  13. #11
    21 Daytona Outlaw's Avatar
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    I agree you did the right thing, but I have to ask,,,,, How did he take the news? I would hate to have to tell my Buddy something like that?
    maybe he knew and you just confirmed it.
    #55

  14. #12
    Boat Nut sleekcrafter's Avatar
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    Your a stand up guy Joe, if your friend is not thankful now, he will be in the near future. You did the right thing
    Upper Midwest Power Boat Association
    DRAG BOAT RACING UMPBA #926


  15. #13
    Senior Member tx19condor's Avatar
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    he took it pretty hard outlaw, I think he suspected but was in denial. I talked to him today and was able to explain more of why it took me a week to tell him and why i decided to tell him and he totally understands. I asked if we were still cool and he said "absolutely". there was alot of yelling from their house last night(they live across the street from me) but things are calmer today. The other guy finally confessed to him today but his wife still denies it.

  16. #14
    Senior Member CHEVY JET's Avatar
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    ITS JUST A GOOD THING FOR HER THAT THEY HAVE KIDS. TO MANY WITNESSES, AND QUESTIONS LIKE, WHARE IS MOM, WHAT IS THAT SMELL, AND WHY IS THERE NEW CONCRETE IN THE BASEMENT DADDY.

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