The Outboard Church has opened
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The Outboard Church has opened

  1. #1
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    I started this church to assist converters, squirters, and V-Fossils in saving themselves from certain destruction. We here at the church believe that a 1/4 mile straightaway is the Devils playground. This is a puny stretch of water that has some heathen boaters feeling that this is Nirvana. Here at the church you will learn how to expand your mind from a tiny stretch in a secluded cove to real open water boating. You do not have to own a whacker to be in our church. We feel that after several highspeed beat downs that even the most dedicated loud boats will convert to "OUTBOARDISM". V-Fossils and Squirters have a love for outboards they find difficult to express...We here at the church will help them complete their conversion to enlightenment. Feel free to express your thoughts and opinions. The church holds Mass on Sundays from 5am to Sunset (a real boating day)

    War Canoe is your Reverend,
    Bullhead Bully is our Bishop of good boating
    Big Steve is our bouncer
    Daytona Ross is our Afterbay Preacher
    Bully's Bro is our 3.2 XS Ambassador
    Stoker 2001 travels to "cribs" "Laying the Smack Down"
    Steve and DCB Bob are our "Delta Deacons"
    Forkin' Crazy is our Southern Missionary in Louisiana.
    TBI is running our Utah parish...
    Kap handles all Church legal proceedings
    Last edited by War Canoe; 08-21-2013 at 02:15 PM. Reason: Delete post

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  3. #2
    I'm famous ! Lucky's Avatar
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    So what do you have for church dinners ???

    Kilbasa or Itialian sausage How do you like eating melon balls and banana's

    When you PRay is it to Go FASTer ? When the fog lifts and the water is parted - Fear not your in the wake of a V drive



    Quote Originally Posted by War Canoe View Post
    I started this church to assist converters, squirters, and V-Fossils in saving themselves from certain destruction. We here at the church believe that a 1/4 mile straightaway is the Devils playground. This is a puny stretch of water that has some heathen boaters feeling that this is Nirvana. Here at the church you will learn how to expand your mind from a tiny stretch in a secluded cove to real open water boating. You do not have to own a whacker to be in our church. We feel that after several highspeed beat downs that even the most dedicated loud boats will convert to "OUTBOARDISM". V-Fossils and Squirters have a love for outboards they find difficult to express...We here at the church will help them complete their conversion to enlightenment. Yes, we will all be whacking together in harmony in the nearest future. Feel free to express your thoughts and opinions. The church holds Mass on Sundays from 5am to Sunset (a real boating day)

    War Canoe is your Reverend,
    Bullhead Bully is our Bishop of good boating
    BiG Steve is our bouncer
    TD is our River Pastor
    STV Keith is a traveling missionary
    Daytona Ross is our Afterbay Preacher

    New Members !

    Quickjet aka "Sandy".....Poor lost soul that will find his way.
    Sharp Shooter ............Another closet whacker that will come out soon...
    TBI ..........................A strange little man that is trying to live the whacker lifestyle vicariously through our posts...
    Sangster...................A mess of a man who is now looking at twin 300xs motors for his next ride..(Congrats on the new direction !)
    " my carbon footprint is gonna kick your green ass"


    Quote Originally Posted by 396_Ways_To_Spit View Post
    WOWO!!!!! THat has to be the most beautiful crank that Ive ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by MAXIMUS View Post
    He has been allowing me to park my equipment in his backyard for a few years now...
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  4. #3
    OBC Gestapo Bullhead Bully's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by War Canoe View Post
    I started this church to assist converters, squirters, and V-Fossils in saving themselves from certain destruction. We here at the church believe that a 1/4 mile straightaway is the Devils playground. This is a puny stretch of water that has some heathen boaters feeling that this is Nirvana. Here at the church you will learn how to expand your mind from a tiny stretch in a secluded cove to real open water boating. You do not have to own a whacker to be in our church. We feel that after several highspeed beat downs that even the most dedicated loud boats will convert to "OUTBOARDISM". V-Fossils and Squirters have a love for outboards they find difficult to express...We here at the church will help them complete their conversion to enlightenment. Yes, we will all be whacking together in harmony in the nearest future. Feel free to express your thoughts and opinions. The church holds Mass on Sundays from 5am to Sunset (a real boating day)

    War Canoe is your Reverend,
    Bullhead Bully is our Bishop of good boating
    BiG Steve is our bouncer
    TD is our River Pastor
    STV Keith is a traveling missionary
    Daytona Ross is our Afterbay Preacher
    Bully's Bro is our 3.2 XS Ambassador

    New Members !

    Quickjet aka "Sandy".....Poor lost soul that will find his way.
    Sharp Shooter ............Another closet whacker that will come out soon...
    TBI ..........................A strange little man that is trying to live the whacker lifestyle vicariously through our posts...
    Sangster...................A mess of a man who is now looking at twin 300xs motors for his next ride..(Congrats on the new direction !)
    Small Block Mike......... A circle jerker that saw the light after viewing his dorky circle video. Mike is planning on strapping on a new whacker and going somewhere instead of the incessant circle.
    Lucky.......................A gay V-Fossil guy that yearns for direction and finds it at our church ! Lucky is fighting his passion of V-Fossil addiction. He is on our 12 step program now. Step one is loud does not equal fast.
    I am honored to be your Bishop......I Promise to burn my small amount of fuel and do my 100 milers VERY quickly . I will represent us in the Arizona / Powell areas throughout the year .Regardless of fuel prices or weather I will be there...
    I will also help the lost V driveners and the Squirters that need direction to the best of my ability....When they are beyond hope ( which most of them are so stuck in there little world) I will look above for help and I'm sure it will come...Thank you WC I will rip a 100 miler NOW to celebrate....

  5. #4
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    Default Our 12 step program to enlightenment....

    1. Loud does not mean you are always going fast.
    2. A 1/4 mile is puny and is like a "crib" for babies.
    3. Getting .75 MPG is stupid.
    4. Running your boat in a circle not only looks dumb, but it will get you dizzy.
    5. 200 cubic inches will slay 600 cubic inches on open water (out of crib)
    6. If your boat only turns left, you have to get right with yourself.
    7. Porpoising on smooth water looks foolish.
    8. Water that is not totally flat CAN be run at high speed.
    9. Chicks dig outboards.
    10. Fossils belong in the dirt, or at Museums.
    11. The future is certain, Outboards will rule the water.
    12. God drives a whacker at Godspeed.

    When you can understand our church, you will love our church.

    This Sunday we will be hosting a free gas party for V-Fossils and Squirters.
    All you have to do is follow the Rev. War Canoe through the Delta and if you can keep up, he will buy you ALL your fuel. If you can't keep up, you must convert to the church. I promise you all CONVERSION.
    Last edited by War Canoe; 06-30-2015 at 03:55 PM.

  6. #5
    Member Bully'sBro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by War Canoe View Post
    I started this church to assist converters, squirters, and V-Fossils in saving themselves from certain destruction. We here at the church believe that a 1/4 mile straightaway is the Devils playground. This is a puny stretch of water that has some heathen boaters feeling that this is Nirvana. Here at the church you will learn how to expand your mind from a tiny stretch in a secluded cove to real open water boating. You do not have to own a whacker to be in our church. We feel that after several highspeed beat downs that even the most dedicated loud boats will convert to "OUTBOARDISM". V-Fossils and Squirters have a love for outboards they find difficult to express...We here at the church will help them complete their conversion to enlightenment. Yes, we will all be whacking together in harmony in the nearest future. Feel free to express your thoughts and opinions. The church holds Mass on Sundays from 5am to Sunset (a real boating day)

    War Canoe is your Reverend,
    Bullhead Bully is our Bishop of good boating
    BiG Steve is our bouncer
    TD is our River Pastor
    STV Keith is a traveling missionary
    Daytona Ross is our Afterbay Preacher
    Bully's Bro is our 3.2 XS Ambassador

    New Members !

    Quickjet aka "Sandy".....Poor lost soul that will find his way.
    Sharp Shooter ............Another closet whacker that will come out soon...
    TBI ..........................A strange little man that is trying to live the whacker lifestyle vicariously through our posts...
    Sangster...................A mess of a man who is now looking at twin 300xs motors for his next ride..(Congrats on the new direction !)
    Small Block Mike......... A circle jerker that saw the light after viewing his dorky circle video. Mike is planning on strapping on a new whacker and going somewhere instead of the incessant circle.
    Lucky.......................A gay V-Fossil guy that yearns for direction and finds it at our church ! Lucky is fighting his passion of V-Fossil addiction. He is on our 12 step program now. Step one is loud does not equal fast.
    Dearest Reverend WC,

    I too will do my part as a follower of the church by getting the maximum bang for the buck with 100MPH sustained runs on 4MPG. I promise to spank all the kidney crushing, noise polluting, energy wasting fools off of our water ways until they too become believers themselves. I assure you that they too will see the light. I candidly admit that I was a sinner once. I had a "V" relic, made stupid noise, broke shit and went nowhere. I was young in mind and dumb as shit.

    Sincerely,


    Bully'sBro

  7. #6
    Senior Member bordsmnj's Avatar
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    this is some funny shit
    Quote Originally Posted by Rep. Joe Wilson (R) View Post
    YOU LIE!!!!!


  8. #7
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullhead Bully View Post
    I am honored to be your Bishop......I Promise to burn my small amount of fuel and do my 100 milers VERY quickly . I will represent us in the Arizona / Powell areas throughout the year .Regardless of fuel prices or weather I will be there...
    I will also help the lost V driveners and the Squirters that need direction to the best of my ability....When they are beyond hope ( which most of them are so stuck in there little world) I will look above for help and I'm sure it will come...Thank you WC I will rip a 100 miler NOW to celebrate....
    We are proud to have to and your Brother as upstanding members in our special church. We will bring the heathens to their knees with common sense and real water experience. Forgive them as they don't know the world outside of their 1/4 mile "crib". They will learn the whacker ways and heel because there will be no options for them other than complete conversion.

  9. #8
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    Default My Son...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bully'sBro View Post
    Dearest Reverend WC,

    I too will do my part as a follower of the church by getting the maximum bang for the buck with 100MPH sustained runs on 4MPG. I promise to spank all the kidney crushing, noise polluting, energy wasting fools off of our water ways until they too become believers themselves. I assure you that they too will see the light. I candidly admit that I was a sinner once. I had a "V" relic, made stupid noise, broke shit and went nowhere. I was young in mind and dumb as shit.

    Sincerely,


    Bully'sBro

    Admitting you were wrong is moving in the right direction. Your new 300xs will serve as a reminder of your faith. Go and seek out the stupid, the foolish, and you will be saved for helping them convert to what is right and what fast really means. WE are closer to Godspeed when we sustain max MPH...Amen.

  10. #9
    TBI
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    Quote Originally Posted by War Canoe View Post
    I started this church to assist converters, squirters, and V-Fossils in saving themselves from certain destruction. We here at the church believe that a 1/4 mile straightaway is the Devils playground. This is a puny stretch of water that has some heathen boaters feeling that this is Nirvana. Here at the church you will learn how to expand your mind from a tiny stretch in a secluded cove to real open water boating. You do not have to own a whacker to be in our church. We feel that after several highspeed beat downs that even the most dedicated loud boats will convert to "OUTBOARDISM". V-Fossils and Squirters have a love for outboards they find difficult to express...We here at the church will help them complete their conversion to enlightenment. Yes, we will all be whacking together in harmony in the nearest future. Feel free to express your thoughts and opinions. The church holds Mass on Sundays from 5am to Sunset (a real boating day)

    War Canoe is your Reverend,
    Bullhead Bully is our Bishop of good boating
    BiG Steve is our bouncer
    TD is our River Pastor
    STV Keith is a traveling missionary
    Daytona Ross is our Afterbay Preacher
    Bully's Bro is our 3.2 XS Ambassador

    New Members !

    Quickjet aka "Sandy".....Poor lost soul that will find his way.
    Sharp Shooter ............Another closet whacker that will come out soon...
    TBI ..........................A strange little man that is trying to live the whacker lifestyle vicariously through our posts...
    Sangster...................A mess of a man who is now looking at twin 300xs motors for his next ride..(Congrats on the new direction !)
    Small Block Mike......... A circle jerker that saw the light after viewing his dorky circle video. Mike is planning on strapping on a new whacker and going somewhere instead of the incessant circle.
    Lucky.......................A gay V-Fossil guy that yearns for direction and finds it at our church ! Lucky is fighting his passion of V-Fossil addiction. He is on our 12 step program now. Step one is loud does not equal fast.

    Guess who's boat this is?





    dumbass
    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboatguru View Post
    I am not here to get anything started
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy-B View Post
    I'm not here to start anything either
    Quote Originally Posted by riverratmike
    Those guys in that hot rod boat have NO RESPECT for people that are trying to sleep






  11. #10
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    Default TBI, My son...

    You post pictures of ATV 's with whackers...You are a "Bi-Curious" individual. I suggest to be a member of the Outboard church, you refrain from mocking posts of your bretheren. Dumbass.

    You are now forgiven. Dumbass. Don't let it happen again.

  12. #11
    ptz
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    Wink

    " I Love The Smell Of Two Stroke In The Morning !"
    ~ ptdave.

    port timing is not the hour at which the love boat arrives or departs...
    but the essence of All Horsepower and cylinder pressure.........

    Amen~

  13. #12
    Senior Member War Canoe's Avatar
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    Default I have officially granted you membership....

    Quote Originally Posted by ptz View Post
    " I Love The Smell Of Two Stroke In The Morning !"
    ~ ptdave.

    port timing is not the hour at which the love boat arrives or departs...
    but the essence of All Horsepower and cylinder pressure.........

    Amen~
    The OB Church has a new member !!

  14. #13
    TBI
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    Quote Originally Posted by War Canoe View Post
    You post pictures of ATV 's with whackers...You are a "Bi-Curious" individual. I suggest to be a member of the Outboard church, you refrain from mocking posts of your bretheren. Dumbass.

    You are now forgiven. Dumbass. Don't let it happen again.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboatguru View Post
    I am not here to get anything started
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy-B View Post
    I'm not here to start anything either
    Quote Originally Posted by riverratmike
    Those guys in that hot rod boat have NO RESPECT for people that are trying to sleep






  15. #14
    Senior Member bordsmnj's Avatar
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    so, 4.2 mpg?? is that for one whacker or two??
    Quote Originally Posted by Rep. Joe Wilson (R) View Post
    YOU LIE!!!!!


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