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Ok I'm bored with this now, got it all out of my system.
This email is a great play on words and has to do with water...
Your typical government agency at work spending our tax payer's money.
Be sure to read the first letter then read the reply.
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter.
State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:
File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File
No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .
A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)
I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.
If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
HALEY: “I’m just worried about this house that’s on fire and I’m trying to keep it from burning down.” Well it looks like Haley's time in KC burned down, so off to the Steelers he goes. See ya!
I'm naked right now.
Well the Sheriff Deputy in the Jury Room... told you to wear proper attire. It seems he forgot to tell you that once your service is no longer required you can go back to your usual publisher attire. Suit and tie...desk.... yeah right I call bullshit.
Thread related I never realized PB had such stringent rules about language.
In the other thread you did not know what the term "asshat" refers to so I thought you might like to know the definition. See the three uses below;
One whose head is so far up their rear end it could pass for a hat; used to describe a person who is stubborn, cruel, or otherwise unpleasant to be around.
Leave 'em alone, asshat!
2. ass-hat A general term for someone who carries out actions with such stupidity that they might as well wear their ass as a hat.
Pete begins looking for his sunglasses, unknowing to the fact that they are on his head. He asks Ed where his glasses are. Ed takes them off his head saying, "You are such a fucking ass-hat."
3. Ass-hat when someone has clear and proven evidence against their point and yet refuses to accept the point being made against them. Thus the term someone who has their head up their ass.
Words to learn for the day...the lesson is now over.
I would do some calisthenics but I think my co-workers would object. At least, the heterosexual ones probably would.
Fuck ... just checking...and I like it! I may jst come hang out here again.
Has anyone seen Riodog recently?
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I forgot about that. It's been a couple of years since I was looking for a stuccoer.
How is your project coming along? I would imagine you're set to start stuccoing in the next week or two? .... just like you were in 09?
That stucco situation was two houses ago. I built a shop and wanted it to match the house but between the building boom and record rainfall, stuccoers were booked two years out. ... so I just went with siding.
My chick is related to some Portuguese stuccoers in Calgary. These old bastards can really trowel it on. I watched them do a couple of jobs and their skill is amazing. They've shown me a bunch of stuff, the best of which is to spray the tools with WD40 prior to use for easy clean-up.
Now that you mention it, my current house seems to have significant cracking where the stucco meets the brick facade. If you're about to stucco, maybe I'll stop by and check out your techniques... I imagine you'll be calling any day now...
Last edited by Tom Brown; 06-10-2011 at 09:28 AM.
COCK.... A DOODLE DO .. PUSSY ...CAT sorry for the profanity ...
ITS THE.... F U K I N G turrets .
Last edited by NO REGRET$; 06-10-2011 at 03:52 PM.
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