The Great American Divorce
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The Great American Divorce

  1. #1
    Senior Member jayteetrotter's Avatar
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    Default The Great American Divorce

    I am on board. Where do I sign the papers? The PSS at the bottom is the best.



    WE CAN ONLY WISH...!!!!!! Just think about this proposal from a student.......sounds good to me..!!!
    Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!


    * * * * * * * * * *


    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:


    1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
    2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
    3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
    5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
    6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.
    8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
    9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
    10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
    11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
    15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
    16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
    17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
    18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
    20. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


    P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

    P.S.S.: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
    Last edited by jayteetrotter; 04-18-2012 at 09:34 AM.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member WMorton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayteetrotter View Post
    I am on board. Where do I sign the papers? The PSS at the bottom is the best.



    WE CAN ONLY WISH...!!!!!! Just think about this proposal from a student.......sounds good to me..!!!
    Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!


    * * * * * * * * * *


    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:


    1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
    2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
    3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
    5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
    6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.
    8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
    9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
    10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
    11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
    15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
    16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
    17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
    18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
    20. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


    P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

    P.S.S.: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
    Sign me up. Sounds like my kind of country. Oh yeah, my country used to be like that.

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by WMorton View Post
    Sign me up. Sounds like my kind of country. Oh yeah, my country used to be like that.
    No, America never was like that......but Nazi Germany and Fascist Itally used to be like that.

  5. #4
    Senior Member WMorton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombie View Post
    No, America never was like that......but Nazi Germany and Fascist Itally used to be like that.
    It wasn't like that in the 40-50's after all the soldiers came back from war?

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayteetrotter View Post
    I am on board. Where do I sign the papers? The PSS at the bottom is the best.



    WE CAN ONLY WISH...!!!!!! Just think about this proposal from a student.......sounds good to me..!!!
    Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with.

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!


    * * * * * * * * * *


    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:


    1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
    2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
    3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
    5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
    6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.
    8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
    9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
    10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
    11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
    15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
    16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
    17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
    18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
    20. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


    P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

    P.S.S.: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
    I'm in. This divorce will not cost me, I will probably make money in the long haul.

  7. #6
    Senior Member jayteetrotter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombie View Post
    No, America never was like that......but Nazi Germany and Fascist Itally used to be like that.
    Sounds like this struck a cord with you.

    You forgot to mention China is, and former Russia was a lot like this. One has fallen and the other is competing for the very same resources that have made all of our lives in America so much better than most parts of the rest of the world. It is idiots who do not see the writing on the wall. Yet, the cows and pigs line up at the trough only to get slaughtered by Farmer John. Jeez, that is a whole other issue about socialism and Obamanomics I do not want to even embark upon with you. You would probably say you can get as much vitamin A out of a peach today that you could have gotten back in 1950 when in fact, you would have to eat 56 peaches today to get the same nutrients you would have gotten then.

    The government is the biggest business in town that has more gross revenues than any company, corporation, institution etc. and they want more control by having more control over our money source and dumb ass bitches saying how they want to take over our oil companies as well. "Are you dumb, or just plain stupid boy?" Forest Gump. The government should not tell us what is best for us. That is not what government is designed for. I do not need to pay additional taxes to create larger bodies of government so they can force feed me their crap. Yet you bitch about competition and how all economies are a mixture of capitalism and socialism. I say you are like a white washed tomb, looks good on the outside, but has no real substance inside since everything you speak of is quite often unwarranted and generally false.

    Learn to think for yourself and stop believing the B.S. the story book fables tell you. Those are for kiddies. You know, the ones with the big pictures and pop ups...


    However, know this... GOD created us all, Dumb ones and smart ones and he loves us all equally. He will not deny you from heaven for being dumb or ignorant, he will deny you because you denied him first. Think for yourself.

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