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Political Humor

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    VOTE! RodnJen's Avatar
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    Default Political Humor

    Here is a little humor along the lines of a few previous posts (not mine), although from a slightly different perspective.

    Our letter to the RED States
    Dear Red States:

    We in the Blue States have decided to leave the United States
    and form our own country . That includes California, Hawaii,
    Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
    and the rest of the Northeast.

    We believe this split will be beneficial to all, especially to
    the people of our new country, the Enlightened States of
    America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:

    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

    We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal
    and Todd Akin.

    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

    We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Walmart.

    We get Stanford. You get West Virginia .

    We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and
    entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .

    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get Arkansas.

    Since our blue aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
    the red states, we get happy families. You get single moms.

    With the Blue States we have 80% of the country's fresh water,
    90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of all fresh fruit, 95%
    of quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% percent of the high
    tech industry, all living redwoods, 90% of all top rated
    universities plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech
    and MIT.

    With the Red States you get 88% of all obese Americans and
    their future health care costs, 92% of all mosquitoes, nearly
    100% of all tornadoes, 90% of hurricanes, 100% of all
    televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University and 99% of
    tobacco factories.

    We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they
    grow in Mexico .

    Sincerely,

    Citizens of the Enlightened States of America

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Boss460's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RodnJen View Post
    Here is a little humor along the lines of a few previous posts (not mine), although from a slightly different perspective.

    Our letter to the RED States
    Dear Red States:

    We in the Blue States have decided to leave the United States
    and form our own country . That includes California, Hawaii,
    Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
    and the rest of the Northeast.

    We believe this split will be beneficial to all, especially to
    the people of our new country, the Enlightened States of
    America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:

    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

    We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal
    and Todd Akin.

    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

    We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Walmart.

    We get Stanford. You get West Virginia .

    We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and
    entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .

    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get Arkansas.

    Since our blue aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
    the red states, we get happy families. You get single moms.

    With the Blue States we have 80% of the country's fresh water,
    90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of all fresh fruit, 95%
    of quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% percent of the high
    tech industry, all living redwoods, 90% of all top rated
    universities plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech
    and MIT.

    With the Red States you get 88% of all obese Americans and
    their future health care costs, 92% of all mosquitoes, nearly
    100% of all tornadoes, 90% of hurricanes, 100% of all
    televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University and 99% of
    tobacco factories.

    We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they
    grow in Mexico .

    Sincerely,

    Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
    Funny, but a serious question I have on this is the bolded part. What % of the population would the blue states have? If you get 2/3s of the tax revenue and 3/4s of the population then it's a pretty good trade

  4. #3
    Senior Member Double Live Gonzo's Avatar
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    Typical ESA resident...just because you won the election in the ghettos and pockets of liberalism in some counties, you think your entitled to the whole state.

    Why don't you just take the turf that actually voted Blue?

    I hump the wild to take it all in, there is no bag limit on happiness. -Ted Nugent

  5. #4
    Senior Member Boss460's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Double Live Gonzo View Post
    Why don't you just take the turf that actually voted Blue?
    Good point!

    Can we do this?? Pretty please???

  6. #5
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    Gonzo, right on. The counties that voted red is the obvious choice, they include all the good suburds with tax paying citizens. The blue areas are the 47% that pay nothing but want everything.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Ms Understood's Avatar
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    Rod, it doesn't look like you got the reaction you were looking for. Mabye you could try again.



    Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!


  8. #7
    Marine Organism Forkin' Crazy's Avatar
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    What is funny for some is bullshit to others.

    And what is the deal with everyone liking Bobby Jindal so much? He's not so great. The LA Senators voted themselves a pay raise. It took a LOT or pressure to get Jindal to veto it. He's not all that.
    "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life"

    - - Robert A. Heinlein

  9. #8
    Dogma's a bitch. 1stepcloser's Avatar
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    Default Mas humor de politico!

    This just cracks me up!

    Name:  mexica%20obama.jpg
Views: 120
Size:  41.5 KB
    para informacion en espanol, regresar a mexico.
    Concern for the poor is not socialism.




  10. #9
    Living in a cage of fear thatguy's Avatar
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    Wow.
    I knew that the libs have some sort of
    "crosswired" brain malformation but I honestly had no idea the depths of the problem.
    That has got to be the most rediculous, near retarded list of things ever.
    It makes no sense from any viewpoint and contains virtually no humor at all.
    Tommy
    Quote Originally Posted by Rexone View Post
    Tommy please remove all Jimsplace quotes from your sig and don't put more back. He doesn't like it and it is against the rules. Thank you.
    "So as through a glass, and darkly
    The age long strife I see
    Where I fought in many guises,
    Many names, but always me."

    Gen. George S Patton

  11. #10
    Dogma's a bitch. 1stepcloser's Avatar
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    One day a man died and went to heaven. when he arrived he was ushered into a large hall completely filled with clocks. The man asked the keeper "what are all these clocks for?" The keeper replied ""these are lie clocks, whenever the clock owner tells a lie, the hands move one minute." The man noticed a clock that was at 12:00 and asked "whose clock is that?" "That clock belonged to George Washington, it proves that He never told a lie. See that one over there? it's at 12:02, it belonged to Abraham Lincoln, indicating that ho only told two lies in his life." "That's amazing!" the man said, "Do you have a clock for Obama?" He asked.
    "Oh, yes", the keeper replied, "it's in Jesus' office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."
    para informacion en espanol, regresar a mexico.
    Concern for the poor is not socialism.




  12. #11
    Senior Member Franger's Avatar
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    Here's an idea, how about we in the "RED" areas battle it out with you in the blue areas?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	county by county voting.jpg 
Views:	44 
Size:	65.3 KB 
ID:	184190  

  13. #12
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    This is what our Canadian friends see.
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	SCAN0001.jpg 
Views:	45 
Size:	98.2 KB 
ID:	184191

    America is the land of equal opportunity, not equal success.
    “I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” .. Thomas Jefferson

  14. #13
    VOTE! RodnJen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Franger View Post
    Here's an idea, how about we in the "RED" areas battle it out with you in the blue areas?
    Isnt' that what the PRF is for.

    See, there has been some funny sh-t posted on this thread.

  15. #14
    SR
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    Cajun Member SR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RodnJen View Post
    Here is a little humor along the lines of a few previous posts (not mine), although from a slightly different perspective.

    Our letter to the RED States
    Dear Red States:

    We in the Blue States have decided to leave the United States
    and form our own country . That includes California, Hawaii,
    Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
    and the rest of the Northeast.

    We believe this split will be beneficial to all, especially to
    the people of our new country, the Enlightened States of
    America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:

    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

    We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal
    and Todd Akin.

    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

    We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Walmart.

    We get Stanford. You get West Virginia .

    We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and
    entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .

    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get Arkansas.

    Since our blue aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
    the red states, we get happy families. You get single moms.

    With the Blue States we have 80% of the country's fresh water,
    90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of all fresh fruit, 95%
    of quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% percent of the high
    tech industry, all living redwoods, 90% of all top rated
    universities plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech
    and MIT.

    With the Red States you get 88% of all obese Americans and
    their future health care costs, 92% of all mosquitoes, nearly
    100% of all tornadoes, 90% of hurricanes, 100% of all
    televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University and 99% of
    tobacco factories.

    We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they
    grow in Mexico .

    Sincerely,

    Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
    ????? Divorce rate.....The lazy & entitled breed,they don't marry....It's all a joke alright...

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