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Today's Joke

  1. #1
    Temporarily Pacified! donzi5150's Avatar
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    Default Today's Joke

    PARKING TICKET
    Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a sh..-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote...Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired... It's important at our age.


    Doc and OT is this about your guys?
    Last edited by donzi5150; 03-07-2011 at 05:07 PM.

    "On every question of construction (of the Constitution) let us carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates, and instead of trying what meaning may be squeezed out of the text, or invent against it, conform to the probable one in which it was passed."
    Thomas Jefferson letter to Justice William Johnson, June 12, 1823

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  3. #2
    "On the road again..." Old Texan's Avatar
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    Not quite but I'm there in the spirit of it.....Doc's out by the college looking for a truck with an operaters Union sticker next to the O sticker to call attention to the "fat" meter maid.
    "Bottle by bottle, I'm clearing off that shelf...."

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    Anyone who would condone something like that is as much of a POS scumbag as anyone who would do it.

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    Senior Member 500BBC's Avatar
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    Sniff...Sniff

    There it is again.
    "Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though" President Barack Obama.

    Liberals just chose to ignore relevant information about the world they live in, and then call themselves sophisticated for having chosen to be more stupid than God made them.

  6. #5
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    Default Question....

    I've heard the story of the little girl and the liberal and how she questioned the difference between deer, cow, and horse shit, and how the liberal didn't know "shit"...This brings up another "shit" question.... I've been under a number of bridges in my day, and have never seen any Troll shit?...... Is it possible that is the reason that Trolls are so full of shit? Because they are incapable of dropping a load in the normal way?...... Must be tough going through life full of shit, with no hope for anything to change in the future.....
    Ray
    PS No lefties were insulted in this post, and Trolls are a case of "mind over matter"... I don't mind, and they don't matter.....
    LOUD BOATS SAVE LIVES

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    Just Me snoc653's Avatar
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    That is the beauty of these type jokes. You can change them to bash anyone or group you so desire. Case in point:

    It was the night of the Presidential Candidate debate. As the Democratic Hopeful was entering the building he looked down the alley and saw a small boy playing with a pile of dung. Curious, he goes over to the boy and asks, "what are you doing son?" The boy looks up at him and says, " I'm making a Republican Presidential Candidate." The Democrat laughs and runs to find the Republican candidate. He finds him and drags him out to the ally and says, "Go ask that kid what he's doing!" The Republican looks and says, "It's obvious what he's doing, he's playing wit a pile of dung." The Democrat not wanting to be denied his joke says, "Yes, but ask him what he's making." So the Republican asks and the little boys says, " I'm making a Republican Presidential Candidate." The Democrat is laughing and the Republican Candidate asks, "So, why aren't you making a Democrat Candidate instead?" The little boy looks up and says, "There just isn't enough crap to make one of those."
    So many projects, so little time

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    Senior Member brgrcru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snoc653 View Post
    That is the beauty of these type jokes. You can change them to bash anyone or group you so desire. Case in point:

    It was the night of the Presidential Candidate debate. As the Democratic Hopeful was entering the building he looked down the alley and saw a small boy playing with a pile of dung. Curious, he goes over to the boy and asks, "what are you doing son?" The boy looks up at him and says, " I'm making a Republican Presidential Candidate." The Democrat laughs and runs to find the Republican candidate. He finds him and drags him out to the ally and says, "Go ask that kid what he's doing!" The Republican looks and says, "It's obvious what he's doing, he's playing wit a pile of dung." The Democrat not wanting to be denied his joke says, "Yes, but ask him what he's making." So the Republican asks and the little boys says, " I'm making a Republican Presidential Candidate." The Democrat is laughing and the Republican Candidate asks, "So, why aren't you making a Democrat Candidate instead?" The little boy looks up and says, "There just isn't enough crap to make one of those."

  9. #8
    "On the road again..." Old Texan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ram78d10 View Post
    Anyone who would condone something like that is as much of a POS scumbag as anyone who would do it.
    Apparently Doc found the truck......Be sure and pay your tickets, wouldn't want you getting picked up on a bench warrant sometime down the road would we....
    "Bottle by bottle, I'm clearing off that shelf...."

  10. #9
    Red Blooded American The Doctor's Avatar
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    There is no truck! It's a city bus with a welfare student pass paid for with student loans. His only real expense in life that is not covered by government assistance is his union dues.
    The best things in life aren't things!

  11. #10
    Senior Member SBjet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ram78d10 View Post
    Anyone who would condone something like that is as much of a POS scumbag as anyone who would do it.
    How about just laughing at the joke? You buzzkiller. You're getting pretty uptight these days.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Brown View Post
    I'm still chuckling at being "poo-pooed" for straying off topic. Awesome.

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