Performance Boats Forum banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.
 

·
I'm baaaaack...
Joined
·
4,365 Posts
At a recent NATO summit, a French general had a few too many glasses of Bordeaux (with an umbrella), and was complaining loudly, "Why are these things always held in English? This is France! Our language should be respected!"

The Canadian corporal who was serving drinks sidled up to him and quietly said, "Because they aren't held in German".
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
6,008 Posts
Many years ago a frenchman and an English redcoat were discussing battle tactics. The frenchman asked why the British officers wore bright red coats when it made them such an easy target.
The Englishman told him that the officers didn't want their men to see the blood if they were wounded and would fight on regardless.







To this day that is why the french officers wear brown pants.
 

·
Marine Organism
Joined
·
12,743 Posts
Those are both good!!!

The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.

"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained.

"Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
660 Posts
Years ago I took my dad to an air show and then on a flight on a B-17. While they were prepping the plane, we began talking to a older lady with a heave French accent. She told us of how when she was a little girl, looking up and seeing the sky filled with B-17's. She was afraid and began to cry. With a tear in her eye, she said her mother told her not to worry.. .. it was the Americans coming to save them!

Sorry... its not funny but a story I'll never forget
 

·
Bass Lake Dream'n
Joined
·
3,082 Posts
Years ago I took my dad to an air show and then on a flight on a B-17. While they were prepping the plane, we began talking to a older lady with a heave French accent. She told us of how when she was a little girl, looking up and seeing the sky filled with B-17's. She was afraid and began to cry. With a tear in her eye, she said her mother told her not to worry.. .. it was the Americans coming to save them!

Sorry... its not funny but a story I'll never forget
Goosebumps just ran up and down both arms...

Watched a show on H2 on Veterans Day, it was about the B17 crews and the sacrifice they endured. They said that they lost more airmen bombing their way to Berlin than all the Marines lost in the entire war in both campaigns COMBINED! So sad, every time the footage showed a bomber falling from the sky, you knew that there were 10 boys either dead or dying. My 7 year old was watching and I could see the sadness and concern in his young eyes. I explained to him that Veterans Day is to honor these young men that died and thank the ones that survived.

I have a little story to share. It's the difference between my wife and I and her sister and husband.
Years ago when my wife was pregnant we went to have a 3d ultra sound done.My wife invited her sister and brother-inlaw (don't like either one, classless people) against my wishes. As we entered the parking lot a car in front of us was moving at a snails pace and was driven by a little old lady and her just as old husband. My sister and her husband were bitching and moaning about how old people shouldn't drive, they're a burden on society, just get the hell out of the way....until my wife and I told them both to just the hell up. Said those two people have earned the right to move as slow as they want and if you keep this bullshit up I'm going to beat some ass. Have some respect! When we were walking in, we happened up on them as we approached the door. I opened and held the door for them and made sure they both got seats and signed in ok. As we were waiting, I started talking to them both. Turns out he was a belly turret gunner on a B17 over Germany and his wife worked for Goodyear building resealable fuel bladders for the p51's assigned to escorting those same B17's. I thanked them both for their service and when we left my to idiot in-laws were amazed at their stories. I think that made a lasting impression on them both. My brother in-law now makes it a point to strike up conversation with older folks at the donut shop. These people seem to always enjoy sharing stories with strangers.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I know this was a joke starting out but thank you for the nice experiences as well.
 

·
Platinum Member
Joined
·
2,014 Posts
Real American heros

There was a old man who struggled hard each and everyday to walk around the neighborhood, I was out working in the yard and he asked if it would be ok to sit on the front wall a while as he gathered his strength
I told him sure and offered him a water. I saw a B-17 hat he was wearing and asked if he flew in them, he told me he was a pilot and flew 36 missions over Germany! I said I thought you got to go home after 25 missions he replied yes, but we had a job to do and we wern't finished yet! I told him hell your a real Hero, his eyes got bright and said no I was doing my job. I said sir you are a real american hero and i'am proud of your service to this country.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,054 Posts
Hilarious
 

·
Junior Mumbler
Joined
·
521 Posts
Friend of mines Dad is Swiss and tells stories of the sky being black for hours (days maybe) with
B-17s.
Craigs list add: French military carbine for sale. Near mint condition, only dropped once.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,895 Posts
There was a old man who struggled hard each and everyday to walk around the neighborhood, I was out working in the yard and he asked if it would be ok to sit on the front wall a while as he gathered his strength
I told him sure and offered him a water. I saw a B-17 hat he was wearing and asked if he flew in them, he told me he was a pilot and flew 36 missions over Germany! I said I thought you got to go home after 25 missions he replied yes, but we had a job to do and we wern't finished yet! I told him hell your a real Hero, his eyes got bright and said no I was doing my job. I said sir you are a real american hero and i'am proud of your service to this country.
Thanks "REALLY". You just brought tears to my eyes reading this a few times over. My father served and my son-in-law is in the middle east as we speak. It's just a shame that enough people won't read this and get a clue! Mark
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
296 Posts
The GREATEST GENERATION

My Uncle, William Donald Norman, (still alive) fought in WW2 with Patton, he was in France as well, came in via the beach. My Uncle was aksed if he ever wanted to go back and see Europe again, he says "I made a deal with God, if he got him out of there alive he would never come back, he held up him end of teh bargin and I plan on doing the same thing" One hell of a Man! We also just burried a GREAT Friend, John Paul Conlin, 92 years old and served in the Pacific Theater another GREAT MAN one rugged tough dued right to the end. Too bad more people didn't have men like these influencing their beliefs and character, we would be in a much better place right now. Too many people take what we have in this country for granted and have no clue what the generations before us sacrificed for us to be spoiled.
 

·
PASO ROBLES CA
Joined
·
672 Posts
Hey Rick hate to continue to jack the thread but I thought I would chime in about my dad whom I am very proud of and is still kicking ass at 89.
My Father joined the Air Force at age 17 and retired as a Colonel from VAFB in 1968. In his 34yrs in the Air Force he expierenced life and saw people at thier worst and had comrodery that is un heard of in this day and age.These days he teaches school part time and is in demand to speak at colleges and WW11 Vetrans clubs.I know he is secretary treasurer of POW As well as president of his bomber group.When this generation is gone,all the stories all the comradery will be gone for ever.

Here is a quick story that comes to mind. my Dad was a navigator,bombedier on a B-17."THE MOTHER IN-LAW [ SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE]was the name of the plane and on one of his last missions they were shot down and everyone had to bail out.After his parachute opened he was hit with shrapnel on the way down and hit the ground bleeding like a stuck pig around his stomach.He scrambled into the woods where he and the tailgunner met up with some Germans who then stuck a Lugar up his nose and ordered them to march.

Dont know how many of you have seen the Great Escape where they dug the 3 tunnels Tom,Dick and Harry.Well that is a true story so my dadended up in STALUG LUFT III.One of his duties was to be a Penguin.These were the guys who filled the bags of dirt from the tunnels and pulled a string in thier pants pockets that let the dirt out thru the bottom of there pants.He did not get a chance to get through the tunnels although he spent 18 months in captivity. I have the original book they made in camp CLIPPED WINGS where there is apicture of him as well his orig writing describing his days in capture.I have his orig flight jacket that has a pic of Donald Duck behind bar that says STALUG LUFT III I WANTED WINGS. It was a great jacket to to wear while riding the Harley.My Father is putting together a his storys on a DVD which will be cool. He went on to fly a P.38 LIGHTING and serve in Korea before retiring He went on to work for Univac and then Unisys where he was the head proposal writer.I am proud of him and there is never a dull moment we he comes down THANKS DAD
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,312 Posts
What a great story. I hope he lives a long healthy life and finishes writing his stories. Please thank him for his service for me...

Steve
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top