Performance Boats Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Red Blooded American
Joined
·
15,853 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work
for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that they will record it immediately for historical value and to generally tick liberals off.
 

·
Red Blooded American
Joined
·
15,853 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Sending it as an e-mail raises interesting discussion - from conservatives. Seems the libs just keep their head securely in the sand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,115 Posts
It is things like this that drives the libs away from having civilized discussions.....Oh yeah, I almost forgot, they have nothing to discuss.:D
 

·
VOTE!
Joined
·
2,123 Posts
That's funny, I don't care who you are. I'd like to think you wrote that yourselft Doc but I just don't have that much faith.
 

·
Temporarily Pacified!
Joined
·
5,554 Posts
That's funny, I don't care who you are. I'd like to think you wrote that yourselft Doc but I just don't have that much faith.

Funny how you have no faith in Doc who has never lied to you but you put 100% faith in a man who has lied to you 100% of the time so far......things that make you go um???????
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
327 Posts
Great work Doc I posted that on a site and the poster couldn`t handle it caused him to start spinning and lost control and started name calling! Its almost as good as a the CEO walking around the parking lot joke that throws liberals in to fits!:)st:)st
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,616 Posts
That's funny, I don't care who you are. I'd like to think you wrote that yourselft Doc but I just don't have that much faith.
Where did he say he wrote it?? It is a well known story, with a message that is mostly true. I have seen it several times. I have yet to see who the original author is. It may be unknown.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,364 Posts
I've seen variations but it's classic nonetheless.
 

·
Living in a cage of fear
Joined
·
16,462 Posts
That's funny, I don't care who you are. I'd like to think you wrote that yourselft Doc but I just don't have that much faith.
Funny how you have no faith in Doc who has never lied to you but you put 100% faith in a man who has lied to you 100% of the time so far......things that make you go um???????
Where did he say he wrote it?? It is a well known story, with a message that is mostly true. I have seen it several times. I have yet to see who the original author is. It may be unknown.
I get the feeling R&J is starting to lean a little bit.:)devil:)devil

Sometimes it takes a while, but eventually hard kicks to the teeth start to hurt.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top